Monday, July 30, 2007

Service to Bush Now Trumps Service to Country

Mao, Stalin, Hitler, Kim Jong Il and now Supreme Allied Commander of the World, George W. Bush, all proud propagators of personality cults. Can it be true in 21st century America that our society has slipped into the depths of the type of almost comical dictatorship that we once reviled? Before we see the latest news lets just run down the dictator checklist to see how “The Decider” measures up:

  1. Myth of the rustic manly background? Check! All dictators must fabricate a background that screams manliness and hardship that serves as a cover for cowardice and privilege. For Bush it is the myth of the cowboy. When not wearing boots, jeans and a cowboy hat he is seen tottering around bowlegged with a case of ILS (Inflated Lat Syndrome: characterized by puffing the chest out and bowing the arms out to appear muscular but instead looking ridiculous). Although his Waco “ranch” boasts no horses, due to his fear of large animals, it is still supports the cowboy myth and helps to deflect questions about dodging the draft and being an elitist from Maine.
  2. Military Uniform? Got it! Who can forget the “Mission Accomplished Moment” aboard the Aircraft carrier! I remember it like it was yesterday, the brave chicken hawk strutting around the deck of a massive warship as if he himself had single handedly whooped the Taliban! However, to give him some credit it was the closest he ever got to a war… a few miles off the US east coast is closer than Texas!
  3. Supporters with cool names? Got those too! However, I think he could have been a little more creative here: Bush calls his supporters “Pioneers” while Mao called his “Young Pioneers”, but since the Mao group was exclusively for children and Bush’s group is for adults with the minds of children we’ll let it slide.
  4. Mood swings and mania? Cha-ching! Oh yeah! Freaking out in front of friends while wildly thumping your chest and screaming “I’m the President, I’m the President” is about as wild-eyed crazy as an aspiring dictator can be!
  5. Creating false threats and concocting new enemies to scare the masses? You bet your WMD’s Junior has this one nailed! And, in true dictatorial fashion, he has even managed to swap and switch enemies so fast that if they were women he’d be the envy of Hugh Hefner!
  6. Systematically destroying all rights in the name of security? Duh! Do we even have to get into this one?

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